Wow! This is really exciting for me to start a blog. theres so much I always want to say, and facebook just doesnt have enough room, and I erased my myspace acct, because it was really juvenile and most of the people I connect with online are on facebook. Plus, I didn't even know half of my "friends". So..............
anyway, I am going to start with me.
I got pregnant this year in June, and for real, it was the last thing I ever thought would happen, but I have to admit, I was trying a little bit. After Donny and I got married in April, I bought this fertility doll from the Turning Wheel in putty Hill shopping center. I rubbed the stomach on it every night. We never "plan" when we are having sex, because, well, wwe have sex everyday! And the reason I thought I couldn't get pregnant is basically, I was in 3 serious relationships, and I never used birth control. Everytime I asked my GYN he always said, "we will talk about it when you are ready" I took that to mean 'Its not going to be easy'. Well, I found out July 7th after Donny and I got into a huge fight outside of his work. We went to CVS got an EPT test, and I took one of them, and we got in the car and headed to my dads, because we were going out on the boat with him that day. Well, him and I looked down at the test at the same time and we saw 2 lines. It was like 90 degrees outside, so when I saw it I said 'Its because its so hot out probaly'. looking back, that sounds SO STUPID! So when we get home I took the other test, which read positive of course, and I saved the 3rd one for the first morning urine and it read positive as well. I have taken several pregnancy tests before, because I have had scares. But this was for real.
Donny was more excited than I was. I was scared he wasn't going to be, because he just did 9 1/2 years in prison, and I thought the last thing he wants is to be tied down with a baby. But he was more excited than I ever could of hoped for. If I even had the slightest disbelief in everything happenening for a reason, that was quashed when I got pregnant. Its like the stars were aligned, God was watching over us everything that could go the right way has. And its changed my life completely. Before, I don't need to sugarcoat it, I was wild and thats putting it lightly! But after getting pregnant, I have to think " Is this something I would want my daughter doing? and just asking myself that question, has made me such a better person. I can't erase my past, but even if I could I wouldn't because my past brought me to this point in my life, which is so great, sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can't believe I have been this blessed. I am so much more appreciative of things. I used to be so materialistic before, and I am a little now still, but I am so happy just being with my husband. I used to have to fill my life with people that I know didn't have my best interest at heart, and I filled my life with them just to not be alone. But now, its just so different. And I am happy enough with myself that I don't need to take pills to give me false confidence. I mean, I couldn't take pills anyway I am pregnant, but even after I am pregnant, just my adderrall, and only that because I can't concentrate for shit!
Anyway, I'll write more later, I just wanted to start this blog with a little on where I am at in my life now.
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